Let's talk about something most of us do but almost no one talks about out loud. Solo pleasure is one of the most common human experiences, and also one of the most misunderstood. Between outdated taboos, half-true "facts" passed around since high school, and a general cultural discomfort with the topic, it's no wonder so many of us grew up with the wrong idea entirely.
So let's clear a few things up.
Myth 1: "It's something you grow out of."
Solo pleasure isn't a placeholder for partnered sex, and it's not something you age out of once you're in a relationship. It's simply one part of a healthy relationship with your own body, at any age, single or not. Many people continue to enjoy it well into long-term partnerships, and that's completely normal.
Myth 2: "It means something is missing in your relationship."
This one causes more unnecessary guilt than almost any other myth on this list. Wanting to explore pleasure on your own terms isn't a verdict on your relationship, it's about understanding your own body, which, if anything, tends to make partnered intimacy better, not worse. Communication is what determines relationship satisfaction; solo pleasure has very little to do with it.
Myth 3: "It's not something worth being intentional about."
We're big believers that the way you approach pleasure matters is the setting, the pace, the tools you choose. Rushed and mindless is one experience; slow and intentional is a completely different one. This is really the whole idea behind pieces like Veya and Orae, designed for a moment you actually give yourself, not something to squeeze in between everything else.
Myth 4: "Toys are only for people who are 'behind' on something."
There's still a lingering idea that reaching for a toy means you're missing out on the "real thing," whatever that's supposed to mean. In reality, using a toy is no different from using any other tool designed to help your body do what it's already trying to do, the way a good pillow helps you sleep, or a good pair of shoes helps you run. It's not a substitute for anything. It's just good design in service of a good experience.
Myth 5: "It's not something you should need to talk about."
Silence is exactly what keeps the myths above alive. The less this topic gets normalized in everyday conversation, the more people quietly carry around wrong ideas about their own bodies. Talking about it openly, with a partner, a friend, or just in your own head, is how outdated shame loses its grip.
